Socialization and a Farm Mom

I think some times being a woman who works in the field of agriculture can be hard. It can be challenging mentally, physically and emotionally. Long hours, hard physical work, then there’s all the stress coming from about fifty different directions (finances, time, working with your spouse/family, etc). However, I think one area that can be especially challenging is often over looked. The social aspect.

I’m not someone who suffers from a lack of socialization from the farm. I get out and about. I’m a semi-professional soccer mom these days. Which means I encounter a lot of other moms. Herein lies my problem.

I know a great group of moms. They are funny, friendly and have a nice bunch of kids. Here is my problem. I can’t get past small talk with any of them. I get lost in “mommy chat”. Truth be told, I’m just no good at it. This leaves me struggling to make conversation. While everyone is talking about crafts or coloring, I’m more comfortable discussing how the last index adjustment made bull proofs plummet. Great conversation topic when you are the only one who even knows what that is.

I’ve actually sat at home before and pondered what to talk to other moms about before going to a play date. I know, I’m crazy. In an attempt to avoid awkward silence, I’m scouring social media to see what other moms are talking about. Here’s a clue, it’s not the best remedy to treat a scoured calf.

My husband and I joke about how anti-social our middle child is. I’m starting to believe the apple may not fall far from the tree. I don’t consider myself anti-social, more socially challenged. I don’t have strong opinions on cloth diapering, breastfeeding or screen time. I’m not following trendy things. Some days I feel like I need to in order to converse long enough to actually enjoy a play date. After all talking tummy time is a little more socially acceptable than asking someone what they did to improve their conception rate.

I enjoy small talk. Honestly I enjoy spending time with other moms. But it would be nice to get past small talk some days. I tell my kids to go play and make new friends all the time. Maybe it’s time to start taking my own advice, even if they aren’t worried about their calving interval.

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8 thoughts on “Socialization and a Farm Mom

  1. Oh, Jodi!
    I hear ya!
    I’ve always been more than a little socially awkward and found it easier to talk with the guys about “guy stuff”/farms, etc. than the girls about “girly-stuff”. (that doesn’t go over well, either…lol)
    I’m too far removed from the whole play-date deal and search for “mommy-friends” to offer any very helpful insights. (I’m gonna have to start looking for grandma-pals…or senior buddies. This should lead to VERY interesting conversations. LOL) Although, I would say: start with the small talk. You just never know when that small exchange will blossom.
    Best to you!
    -Barbara

    • I can talk to a group of dairy men much easier than moms! I really do like the moms from school, just wish I had more social skills lol. BUT one of the moms from our play group told me she feels the same and she’s not a farm mom. We’ve decided next play date we can scour online for topics to talk about 😉

  2. I can completely relate to your situation. Even sometimes at family gatherings I have a hard time with knowing where to be. My gender says one thing but my interests say another. Tough to straddle that fence. Keep trying who knows you may eventually find someone with similar interests as I did just this last weekend at a vendor show I was part of. Turns out she likes Shorthorns as much as I do and her daughter raises the same breed of rabbits as mine does. She also is a Pampered Chef rep while I design for Pixie Dots. We do wear a lot of hats or boots as the case may be.

    • One of my saving graces is a friend I have from college. We talk regularly, starting with mom stuff generally then ends with cows. It’s always nice to find someone with some common ground!

  3. ha ha ha….that was a funny post with topics you want to talk about. Gave me a chuckle as I am the same way. I could care less about what new shoes someone bought, or a new store at the mall, or what purse party fun people have. Give me a good ole conversation about gardening, outside fun, walking in the woods, something funny your goats did etc. I am the mom who is always standing off to the side at the games enjoying my own company lol

    • Yes! Or when you have some big farm news you’re dying to tell someone but you know they won’t appreciate the same way you do. Definitely isn’t just restricted to “mom groups”.

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