A Little Jealous

I would like to start this with a disclaimer, I love my children 100%. Don’t think I don’t.

My day started early. It was supposed to start early as I had to milk this morning. But before I had the pleasure of hearing my alarm ring at 3:30, I was awakened by a crying baby around 1. Now the littlest tribe member sleeps thru the night pretty routinely anymore so I found this a little odd. Upon getting the little cutie out of his bed I could tell he was noticeably HOT. Even after a temp check and a dose of Tylenol he could only be comforted by nursing. So there I sat for the next two and a half hours nursing a baby. He should be glad he’s so cute. At one point in time I dozed of a few minutes and awoke in a panic. The moon was bright enough it looked almost light outside. After a frantic clock check I saw it was only 20 til 3. Big relief!

I’m not going to lie milking was rough. All I kept thinking while scraping barns with the skid loader was “stay awake, stay awake”. I returned home around 8 to a frazzled husband and a baby still not fit to be around. If you were holding Henry he would snuggle and whimper looking absolutely pathetic (he had every right to) but if you set him down, war was waged.

My morning and early afternoon were full of nursing, snuggles, crying (maybe both of us?) and thank god a nap and some relief courtesy of my husband. This afternoon after Henry sleeping most of it away there have been some smiles, spit bubbles and a little play. Yeah!

So where is this all going? I’m jealous of my husband. You see tomorrow is our districts Holstein show. We have a couple head going and I was so looking forward to showing. I have shown dairy cattle since starting 4-H going to lots of local shows. Then I was fortunate enough to hook up with some of the right people and spent a handful of summers showing at our state fair while in high school. To me there’s nothing quite like walking in to a barn, smelling the straw, soap, clear magic and pine shavings. No matter what Tom will head to the fair grounds with Reba and Rainbow in tow tonight. I will stay home with a sick baby and 2 kids. Unless Henry makes a miraculous recovery by tomorrow morning I will be right here, fussy baby on the boob and all. Last summer we went to a few shows, however I was 6-7 months pregnant and just on the sidelines. I was ready to go tomorrow.

I know he can’t help it. I don’t blame him. But I am allowed to feel a little jealous, right?

5 thoughts on “A Little Jealous

  1. Pingback: Loss – My Way | Easy Being Mom

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